I met up with an old friend the other night. He asked me about the magazine, as expected. I was almost caught off guard. I knew what to say, but I didn't want to say it. I lied, 'I'm not sure what my plan is', 'I'm out of my depth', 'what's a business plan??'.
I really felt the need to revise my initial welcome. This second draft is an example of what I was trying to say in draft #1. Mistakes are necessary for progress.
The whole idea of the magazine is to educate people. The fact that I'm leading this cause allows for people to judge whether they think I'm qualified or capable or knowledgable enough. I have this fear that people won't take me seriously, or they'll view our information with a pre-conceived perception of what they're reading, based on the source. So when discussing the magazine with others, I often find myself discussing it through a lens that delegitimises it's importance. If they think I'm wrong, I've already said that I am. That way I'm one step ahead.
In a bid to sound supportive, a lot of people have told me of their 'surprise' that my initial welcome was articulate and eloquent. I know, I'm not an idiot - but it throws you off guard when someone infers they thought that you were. It was clear that the other night I made the subconscious decision to assume the role as the idiot. It's easier to meet someones expectations of stupidity, rather than try and prove them otherwise.
And so, I want to say thank you. If you support us, if you read this website, if you buy our magazine, you're making a conscious effort to learn. You don't have to. We can choose to close our eyes and block our ears and accept the world for the way it is, but it takes guts to admit this won't solve anything. I know it's not easy. I know it's easy to ignore. But knowledge is power and power is intimidating for others. If we really want to incite change, this intimidation exerted by others in the form of skepticism has to be accepted.
In our society, there's almost an expectation that when you're young you don't know anything. Like the world is only learnt about, through time. That age means wisdom. That one year older, means one year smarter. I know I'm intelligent enough to do this, and where I fall short I have my team and the internet and the opportunity to fail, to back me up. I have eighteen years under my belt, but knowledge that exceeds what is associated with that eighteen years.
It's not the time we have here, it's how we spend it.
Make your choice.